


Eat Your Heart Out

by LightningClawedSky



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood and Gore, But they don't fuck I hate you break it to you, Canon - Anime Dub, Dark Signer!Yusei, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, M/M, Physical Abuse, Sexual Content, Torture, Violence, Yusei screams a lot but can you blame him, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-13
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2020-05-02 12:31:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19198873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningClawedSky/pseuds/LightningClawedSky
Summary: Yusei fights his newfound status as a Dark Signer, conflicting emotions swarming inside of him, not knowing what he wants of this new afterlife, a part of him knows he wants to save everyone, but the other wants Kalin, just as much as Kalin wants Yusei.Kalin words are like honey spread on charcoal toast, sweet and bitter, and that you want it off you're tongue immediately, but a part of Yusei can't help but reminisce about the past. Just how far will his guilt and devotion go? Will it be enough to gift his heart?(Dark Signer!Yusei)





	Eat Your Heart Out

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my Dark Signer!Yusei verse that I have on my RP blog on tumblr (hyperdrivehearts.)  
> Yusei's dark signer mark is Qullyur Waqar, and it's that of the Heron. In this universe, he is an empty shell of his former self, still wanting to "save" others, but doing it in the unconventional way of murder, and putting people out of their misery.  
> [You can read a more in depth explaination about this universe HERE if you'd like: ](https://hyperdrivehearts.tumblr.com/post/185483633714/in-the-universe-where-yusei-is-a-dark-signer-the)
> 
> EDIT: I finally drew DS!Yusei and you can see it [HERE](https://hyperdrivehearts.tumblr.com/post/186136604249/forget-who-you-thought-i-was)
> 
> Unedited as always

No matter how little light was present, it always seemed to glint perfectly and beautifully off of Kalin's pocket knife. It wasn't really anything special of a knife-- the dark signer had won it in a fist fight from when he was alive. It was certainly one of his more  _ prized  _ possessions, despite the wear and tear of a blade that had become serrated due to improperly sharpening it on rocks and concrete.

Kalin turned and twisted it in his hand, lips curled up in a small smile, admiring the way it reflected everything around it. He paused, seeing the sleeping figure beside him also reflected in the blade. Kalin put the knife down on the ground beside the bed with a small clatter as it dropped out of his hands, turning himself over to look at the sleeping, smaller man beside him.

_ Yusei…~ _ Kalin purred in his mind. He was so unbelievably happy with his catch. He could still  _ feel  _ the blood rushing around his fingertips as he stabbed Yusei with the shard of metal, slowly pushing it further and further into his screaming body. He grinned at the memory, giggling quietly in glee. The sounds Yusei had made as he was fighting for his life were simply...  _ erotic _ .

So many of the new recruits of the Dark Signers had been fighting the process-- Kalin couldn't see  _ why _ , personally, he was too angry and now he was too far gone to even  _ care _ . Being a Dark Signer had come with so many perks-- so much power and a God by your side to call upon and cause chaos-- what was there  _ not  _ to love?

He  _ adored _ the black in Yusei's eyes. It mirrored his own, with a small pool of color in the center, like a telescope viewing a planet in a seemingly starless section of the sky. However, despite the darkness, the black showed up sparingly. There was still white in the eyes of the other, still light, still  _ hope _ . It made Kalin bitter knowing that Yusei was still fighting his fate.

_ Couldn't he just accept his fate? The world was never his to save. _

An idea hastily formed in the brain of the silvery haired man, a smile creeping into his face.

"Oh,  _ Yuuuuusei.~ _ " Kalin pushed himself up from his position, purring in the ear of the other.

Yusei quickly opened his eyes in response, feeling a shiver crawl up his back in an instant. Despite how cold each of their bodies had become, Kalin's breath was hot and sticky against his neck. It wasn't as if he was actually sleeping before  _ either-- _ Dark Signers did not  _ need _ to rest their bodies in such a way, but Yusei had become exhausted from all the changes, needing to at least rest his eyes and mull over his thoughts.

Kalin grabbed the younger man's face harshly, nails digging into his flesh, causing Yusei to wince as he was forcefully made to look at Kalin, eyes wide and his lips quivering. 

"They're still white." Kalin hissed, dissatisfied.

"I'm sorry." Yusei croaked as Kalin released his face, looking down, ashamed.

"Yusei, Yusei,  _ Yusei _ ," Kalin practically growled the name. "What  _ are _ you going to learn that you can't help anyone like  _ this?" _

Yusei looked back up again, shifting his sitting position in order to meet Kalin's gaze with a look of hesitation, but said nothing.

"I mean, you couldn't save anyone as a Signer, and now you're a Dark Signer! How cruel is the hands of fate when it deals you a deck you don't want! But, oh, my dear Yusei, you know how to make the best out of every situation, and every deck you're handed...is that not  _ right?" _

"I guess…"

What good is a  _ pet _ that doubted itself, refusing to do any tricks because it didn't believe in itself?

Kalin cupped Yusei's face, thumb stroking the blood red mark that ran out from under his eyes. Nobody knew Yusei as much, or as  _ intimately _ , as Kalin did, and he knew how to  _ twist _ the other to fit his own needs. He knew every insecurity, every fear, just as well as he knew each and every curve of his body, and every scar along the way.

One blink of Yusei's eyes, the darkness was there, but with the next, it had vanished once again.

Kalin gave a purr, planting a quick, harsh kiss on Yusei's lips. The darkness in Yusei's heart did not stem from anger or betrayal, it stemmed from a mere moment of _ selfishness _ . To bring Kalin  _ back _ , that was  _ all _ he wanted when he had died. He had put Kalin above  _ all _ , above the lives of New Domino, above the lives of the rest of his friends. There was some guilt, but the biggest guilt came from Kalin's words and how they affected Yusei. They ravaged his thoughts. 

_ Did he really betray the other? _

_ How could he make it up to his former boyfriend? _

"You're afraid and uncertain, Yusei... That's so  _ unlike _ you."

"Why  _ wouldn't _ I be?" Yusei spoke, the edges of his voice bitter, not at Kalin nor himself, but at his predicament as a Dark Signer. 

"Yusei, you can still  _ save _ people." Kalin smirked, pulling up Yusei's face once again to gaze at him. Sure,  _ fear _ was a good look, but he'd much rather view an endless expanse of darkness. 

_ Stop fighting it. Give into your selfishness _ .

Kalin gave Yusei another quick kiss, more out of persuasion than any genuine love. Kalin knew that Yusei thought he was wasn't as far gone as he was, and that was the downfall of the Signer-- he was a puppet to the marionette of past relationships. He held onto his hope too much, like it was the last pitiful scraps of food in a famine.

This time, Yusei gave a half-hearted attempt to kiss back before Kalin pulled away with a smirk. The familiarity of it all was  _ overwhelming _ ; Yusei couldn't think straight. Memories of being an Enforcer washed over him. He had been much happier in those times, before Kalin had lost himself and his goals. He had  _ loved _ the other so intensely back then, and Yusei was afraid to admit he still craved for every touch in the present. Tears pricked at his eyes-- was this something that he wanted? Was  _ this _ his unfinished business that had allowed him to become a Dark Signer? The only thing that sent him out of his thoughts, was the  _ wet _ sensation of Kalin licking the corners of his eyes, lapping up the tears.

"How  _ far _ would you go to save  _ me _ , Yusei?" Kalin asked, pressing his forehead against the other, the smirk on his face only seeming to grow.

"I-" Yusei started, his voice catching in his throat. He searched his mind for the truth, as if he didn't know the answer, but he knew the truth was dark, refusing to leave his throat.

What was he  _ supposed _ to say? That he missed every touch of Kalin's? That he never stopped loving him even after he had died? That when he first saw Kalin as a Dark Signer, his chest was filled with a pang of selfish  _ want _ , that he'd do  _ anything _ to be with him again? Kalin  _ knew _ all of these things already, but he wanted to hear it leave Yusei's mouth himself. 

_ Satisfy me. _

"I'd give you my  _ life _ ." Yusei admitted, leaning his head against Kalin's body, shuddering out a sigh. To say that, it had felt like pulling out rotting teeth-- it had hurt, but he felt  _ better  _ after the fact.

" _ Oh _ , Yusei…" Kalin wrapped his arms around the smaller male in a cold embrace. "I already have that."

Yusei didn't say anything, the only thing to leave his lips was a shaky exhale of breath at the intimacy of that moment. Kalin's hands made their way down Yusei's back with a haunting gentleness, stroking and rubbing the tension out of the muscles of the other. With his next question, Kalin's voice was husky as he spoke into Yusei's neck, causing the hairs on the back of his neck to prick up as he felt another pang in his chest.

"Would you give me your heart?" 

"It's already yours."

Kalin’s hand found its way under Yusei’s shirt, caressing every defined muscle it could. Kalin paused, feeling the scab of the wound that had ultimately ended Yusei’s life. A giggle escaped his lips as he put pressure on it, feeling how weak it was yet. A part of him wanted to jab his thumb into the wound and feel it break and hear Yusei scream in absolute  _ agony  _ at the pain. He stopped himself, hearing an involuntary, nervous whimper escape Yusei’s lips. Kalin idly traced the scab with a nail, humming softly, before his hand placed itself on Yusei’s chest. His nails hovered just above the skin. 

“Do you trust me?”

“Kalin, what are you--”

_ “Do you trust me, Yusei?” _ Kalin hissed, his voice sounding more of a command rather than a question of faith.  _ Trust me. Trust me. _

_ “Yes.”  _ Yusei blurted out, hanging his head, a creeping feeling washing over him. How could he not? Kalin was the only thing typing him back to his old life at this point. “I trust you  _ so  _ much.”

Kalin grinned, his eyes sparking full of a wickedness that wasn’t there moments before. It seemed as if Yusei was too blind to see the changes in Kalin just then, or perhaps he simply ignored them, refusing to see the predatory  _ animal  _ that was his lover. 

Kalin pushed Yusei harshly down, hard enough to have his skull hit the concrete wall, the sickening sound reverberating through the small room and black spots danced across his vision. He blinked, dazed and wishing the dizziness from the impact away, as he lay there on the ratty mattress of the makeshift bed. It  _ hurt _ , but Yusei felt as if it was something he had  _ deserved _ .

Before Yusei could properly collect his senses, they were all washed away the moment he felt Kalin’s weight shift, crawling on top of him, on the  _ hunt _ . Kalin’s lips crashed harshly once again against Yusei’s, biting his lips and grinding against his teeth. It wasn’t like the short and possessive kisses from earlier, it was  _ hungry _ . 

Yusei felt a part of himself break under the pang in his chest feeling like it was going to explode right out from his chest. His inhibition broke away quickly, like glass that was shattering and broken pieces were still falling down piece by piece. It felt like the rest of the world didn’t even  _ exist _ . There was no Signer war, there was no betrayal; it was only him and Kalin, and they were each others’  _ saviour _ . He tried to meet Kalin’s kiss with the same  _ desperate  _ ferocity, with a hand firmly grasping Kalin’s hip, and the other grabbing a handful of silvery blue hair. Yusei closed his eyes, unable to put his thoughts in enough of an order to even think; his mind with preoccupied with how their tongues intertwined, how their hands travelled across each others body, and  _ especially  _ how Kalin  _ felt  _ on top of him as he was straddled. Yusei felt overwhelmed with emotions, more tears in the corners of his eyes. Kalin knew how the other felt, he could  _ sense  _ it, and smiled into the kiss, knowing he was  _ his _ .

Yusei let out a whine as he pulled himself away from the kiss, the need for air being too great. Technically, as a Dark Signer, he didn't  _ need _ to breathe, but he hadn't quite mastered  _ that _ yet.

Kalin, however, licked his lips,  _ satisfied _ , before shrugging off his jacket and peeling off his shirt. Kalin has always been pale, littered with dark scars, the most notable stretching across his chest. 

His wolfish gaze eyed Yusei up and down, smirking as he leaned in once again, licking and nipping at Yusei's tan neck, surely leaving bruises behind.

Kalin's sickly sweet, yet raspy voice sent chills down Yusei's spine. "Who do you belong to?"

_ “You.” _ Yusei croaked out, panting as he lay back once again, eyes still closed, his voice oozing with surrender and devotion, completely at the mercy of Kalin. He no longer felt afraid, just  _ needy _ and   _ excited _ for what he expected to come next. He felt Kalin's hands make quick work of his own jacket and shirt, tossing it to the side. "My heart, body,  _ soul-- _ it's yours,  _ all _ yours."

However, Yusei did not realize, that in his temporary bliss, Kalin had picked up his knife. 

Yusei was silent as he felt Kalin's fingers caress his body once again, although he did have a slight smile on his face. Kalin  _ almost _ felt bad, seeing how Yusei was starting to enjoy himself, but a part of him felt such a sickening glee as he turned the knife over in his hand, gazing at it lovingly from the side of his eyes, before plunging it as far as he could into the younger man's flesh.

Yusei's eyes snapped open, and he  _ screamed _ .

A harsh cackle escaped from Kalin as he pushed the knife in further, pulling it slowly and carefully with inhuman strength, sawing through flesh and bone. The sounds of ribs popping as they broke filled the gaps in the air where Yusei's screams of terror and agony did not reach. Blood poured out, spraying and oozing everywhere, joining in with the other stains of bodily fluids that covered the mattress.

Yusei didn't even know when he stopped screaming, staring down at his chest with wide eyes, filled with white and fear. Hands were shaking, gripping Kalin's wrists, although with no strength behind the act. His body convulsed with panic and he looked up, voice croaking out a pained whisper. "K-kali-n..!"

" _ Shhh…~ _ " Kalin hushed, caressing Yusei's face, before planting a kiss, just as he yanked the knife through more skin. Yusei's screams were muffled and cut short as Kalin stole his breath.

Kalin pulled away, placing a finger on Yusei's quivering lips.

"You said so yourself-- you belong to me. Your body has fallen under my touch, your soul is at the mercy of my love, but I want your heart, Yusei, and I want it in more than metaphors. I want to hold it and squeeze it, and cherish every vein and artery inside of you."

"...Kalin…"

"A knife is so  _ intimate _ , don't you think so? You should  _ know _ that, Yusei…"

Yusei glanced back down at his chest and the knife embedded in it, his breath shallow. Blood bubbled around the knife, ribs were poking out. Suddenly, he remembered times from when they were alive, a knife gently tracing along his body for Kalin's own amusement as Yusei shuddered gently whenever he was sliced open, gentle kisses following a stinging pain, but he had laughed instead of screamed.

Was this  _ really _ like then? Was the searing hurt above his chest the same thing as a trust so strong that it was almost  _ seductive?  _

"If you loved me, you'd stop  _ fighting _ it, Yusei. You'd latch onto every word I had to say. You'd let me hurt you and use you in any way I please. You'd make me happy, satisfy me,  _ save me." _

Yusei closed his eyes at the final words. Was he letting Kalin down, letting him descend further and further into hell? 

Kalin's hand suddenly tightened around Yusei's face, hissing as he forced the others' face close to his own, "You and I are nothing but a corpse."

Yusei forced his eyes open at the contrasting feeling of Kalin's icy hands, the hot breath on his face, and the wet sensation of tears rolling down his face. It was more than the droplets that had gathered in the corners of his eyes earlier, the ones that Kalin had lapped up. Seeing this, the silvery haired male let out a purr, pleased with the pain. "You said you trusted me, correct?"

_ "Yes," _ Yusei forced himself to say. He hurt, he hurt so much. There was a knife in his chest,  there were nails in his face, and his old boyfriend was at the cause of it all, even the emotional pain Yusei couldn't quite put into words as to why it hurt so much, but merely let out a  _ whimper,  _ hoping that it would convey his agony. 

The darkness that he was fighting against,  _ liked _ it.

That part of him liked the pain. It  _ liked _ being grabbed and clawed at, sliced apart with a pocket knife and treated like a  _ pet _ . It had a grin sprawl across his face as it all happened; more bones broke, more squelching noises in the air as the knife tore through, more screams muffled by kisses and loving gazes with a spark of insanity. The grin faltered and a look of agony tore through his face again as he screamed. Yusei felt like he was losing himself under masochistic love for Kalin.

How much he wanted to help Kalin still, even in this state, was so blinding it was almost  _ sick _ . He betrayed him,  _ hadn't he? _ He deserved all of this,  _ didn't he? _ He'd do anything to help,  _ won't he? _ That was what he told himself-- he had already given him his  _ life! _ But was this even worth it?

"You look so beautiful like this,  _ star child." _ Kalin whispered sweetly, laying himself on top of Yusei, skin against skin, blood and sweat. Yusei stopped thrashing and shrieking the moment he heard the familiar nickname.

He looked back up at Kalin, the past and the present seeming to mix together and blur. He remembered the gentle touches, the soft look in Kalin's golden eyes whenever he had uttered those two words with love, it made Yusei's heart swell. Was he hearing things? Did that mean the old Kalin, the one Yusei originally fell in love with, was still around? Yusei felt another pang in his chest, but he couldn't tell if that was the fault of the knife, or the selfishness of wanting to hear the name spoken in that same gentleness again.

Kalin let out a purr once again, fingers dancing gently along Yusei's skin, slowly making their way down to the slashes in his chest. He caressed the cuts, tracing gently along the outlines, causing Yusei to clench his teeth to muffle the agonizing screams. Kalin peeled his face off of the other side of Yusei's chest, dragging his tongue leisurely along the chest, before delving it into the wounds. 

The pained noises erupting from Yusei's throat halted at the sensation, eyes wide as he watched Kalin lick the edges of his wound, slowly, sensually and  _ seductively _ . Blood was smeared messily on his face as he stuck his tongue in every crevice of the carving, up and down the knife that was still set in his chest. 

Kalin glanced up, as if he was making sure Yusei was watching him in silent horror. He flashed a quick grin, deliberately letting out a moan that Yusei had heard many times in the past. Kalin never broke eye contact as he let out the pleasured sound.

Through the pain and horror, Yusei felt a wave of disgust-- not at Kalin and his actions, but for how those actions were affecting Yusei, and how much he was beginning to enjoy it.

However, it would not last long. Kalin was quickly growing bored of the screaming and the blood was starting to dry. He sat up with a huff, ripping out the knife from its position, blood spurting in the air and another anguished cry quickly followed.

"It'll all be over soon." Kalin assured the other, planting a hand on Yusei's chin, the thumb the only thing curled around the knife, point tipped upwards towards the soft flesh of the black haired man's underjaw. He squeezed the neck, as if he was only asserting that he was  _ powerful _ .

_ "Trust me." _

Despite the nod Yusei gave, he went back to letting out a shriek as soon as Kalin plunged his fingers into the circular, messy laceration in his chest. He pulled at the flesh, tossing each chunk to the side without any care. If he wanted to, he could have eaten each and every piece he wrapped his hand around and ripped out, he was sure that Yusei would taste as  _ sweet _ as he always had, but he was only interested in what lay  _ underneath _ . 

He clawed and tore at the cavity, pulling out the broken bones with a nauseating pop. The heart, he had to get to the heart of Yusei.

Of course, it had cased it's beating the moment Yusei had died.

A manic grin spread across Kalin's face as he saw the chunk of flesh he was searching for. Kalin released Yusei's neck, earning a small sigh of relief from the younger male. He gripped the heart, pulling it out of the cavity in Yusei's chest, laughing and laughing as he brought the knife messily across the arteries and veins, cutting the connections away from its owner.

Kalin couldn't stop cackling as he held the heart, turning it around in his hand as if it were a jewel, and he a prized collector. He peered at Yusei through the corner of his eye, cherishing the look of pure, unbridled horror on the Ex-signer's face.

Yusei was beyond the point of pain, beyond the point of terror. He felt tired and weak, unable to grasp what truly happened, despite seeing it right in front of him. His mouth opened and closed, before eyes slowly went back down to the hole in his chest, breathing shallow. This would kill a normal person in an instant-- but he wasn't normal now, was he? Was he even considered a  _ person _ at this point?

"Oh, don't worry, Yusei, you'll heal soon enough. Sure, you won't regrow a heart, but the hole  _ will _ close up! Next time, we can play with some of your  _ other _ organs~~!"

Kalin frowned, noticing that Yusei wasn't exactly paying attention by any means. With his free hand, covered in blood, he gripped Yusei's face once again, forcing eye contact between them. The anger in Kalin's gaze quickly subsided, replaced with a soft look that  _ could _ border the emotion called  _ ' love .'  _

_ No. No, I am a Dark Signer now. _

The white's in Yusei's eyes had vanished.

Kalin's hand quickly tightened around the muscle he held, inhuman strength  squeezing it with ease, a squelching pop filling the air, large drops of blood falling to the floor in splattering chunks. 

"You don't need this anymore."

Yusei couldn't tell if the empty feeling inside of himself was from his missing heart, or from the realization that Kalin was right-- he was never able to save anyone with the Crimson Dragon, but the Mark of the Heron had saved  _ him _ . He could save Kalin. He could save  _ everyone _ !

The darkness was inevitable, just look at how it consumed even someone such as himself. 

Perhaps, looking back up at Kalin, the darkness was in a cruel love and guilt. This pain was deserved, and he would endure so  _ much _ more if it could save his lover. If Kalin wanted to tear him limb from limb, he'd let him. If Kalin wanted to choke him until he passed out, or open his chest to make sure the heart was still fine, or to chain him up and leave him to rot-- Yusei would gladly do all of those things and anything else Kalin asked of him.

"I am yours," he whispered.

Yusei gave a soft smile, eyes filled with limitless adoration and devotion, perhaps bordering even '  _ obsessive _ . ' He leaned his head against Kalin's shoulder, arms wrapping around the silver haired man. 

"I am yours, and so much more." 

A laugh spilled out from Yusei's lips, but there was no warmth to the noise. It mixed in with Kalin's feverish giggles, mixing into a chorus of insanity. Was this really happening, was this their afterlife now?

Kalin's words oozed with a venomous malice, but Yusei was too blind now to even notice. It was like a snake, wrapping itself around every syllable, twisting into Yusei's heart with manipulation and  false promises of playing into the raven haired man's delusions.

"Satisfy me, save me,  _ love me _ , star child."


End file.
